I love you. I love you. I love you.
You might be thinking, “Mom, you’re so weird. Why are you writing me a letter? I’m not alive yet. Plus, YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BEING A KID/TEEN/YOUNG ADULT.” Well, it’s the internet so I can do whatever I dang well please. Plus, I’m writing this right now while I’m 22 years old, so I actually DO know everything about everything. Suck it.
Okay, let me explain the point of this “letter” to you.
So this past spring/summer I was in a BYU student ward at King Henry. A friend in this ward had been posting a time or two in regards to his views on dating on Facebook (not sure if this will still be a thing when you’re in high school/college or if it’ll be the new Myspace. Facebook is where you basically post everything about your life and expect other people to care and “like” it.) They were totally his opinions, and that was totally fine. But, the things that he said, mainly the way that he said it, really bothered me. Like, really bothered me.
At one point he wrote about expectations and compliments, and he used red lipstick as an example. He said that he expects a “good time” on a date, as he is the one paying and planning the date, but that red lipstick puts a damper on that. Is he expected to to compliment her when he doesn’t really like the lipstick? I mean the lipstick is actually causing a problem, it’s keeping him from the “good time” that he was expecting. He also spoke about all the attractive girls going on tons of dates, which left the unattractive girls to everyone else. He felt like that he deserved the hot girl, the perfect diamond.
ANYWAY, all of these posts left me questioning my own self-worth. Am I not attractive enough since I’m not going on dates? Am I not providing my dates with everything that is expected of me? Am I not “the perfect diamond?” These are things that I NEVER want you to even question. So, I’m here to tell you a few things. Things I want you to remember. Here we go:
- Don’t fall into this, “boys are mean to me because they like me,” ideology. Never let a boy/guy/man put you down, hurt your feelings, or make you feel bad about yourself. That is just abusive. There is physical abuse (which if a man ever lays a hand on you, I’ll kill him) and then there is emotional abuse (I will also kill him for this.) Neither is acceptable. Your feelings are more important than his ego. Remember, no one will ever purposefully hurt you because they love you. That’s not love. And you, my dear, deserve love.
- You don’t owe a man anything. Ever. Remember that kid that wrote the blog I mentioned earlier? At one point he said, “When I find a girl that is attractive and that I ask on a date I expect to have a good time. Whether this is the 3rd date or the 5th date I expect to good enough time that at the end of the date I get a goodnight kiss. ” You *clap* don’t *clap* owe *clap* anyone *clap* anything. I’m your mother. I carried you for 9 months and gave birth to you (and don’t you forget it.) If anyone gets to expect something or feels that you “owe” them, it’s me. This guy that takes you to frozen yogurt or mini golfing or to dinner? No. You owe him nothing. One of my best friends had a guy tell her that either she kissed him or he wouldn’t take her on another date. You know what she did? She got up and left (and went back later to egg his apartment door.) Basically, your body is YOUR body, no one else’s. You don’t owe any of these single and sad schlumps anything. Ok?
- You are literally perfect. “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them” (Genesis 1:26–27). Please, please, please, don’t ever forget this. You have an eternal destiny that is so much more important than how many dates you’re going on, what kind of car or bicycle you’re currently driving, or how many followers you have on your fancy social media site (idk if it’s still Instagram or not.) I don’t want you to ever feel less than enough. You are so much more than enough. My high school seminary teacher once told the girls in our class that if anyone ever treated us badly to say, “I’m a daughter of God, and I demand respect.” You are a daughter of God and you demand respect. You are so loved, it’s not even measurable. “WE are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.” We love our Father in Heaven, He loves us, I love you, and my only wish is for you to love yourself.
I’m sorry for this rant, but I felt like it was/will be important. Also, I hope this blog will still be around when you need to finally feel the need to read this. The internet is forever, right? Remember, you rock and love is always the answer (the second best answer is “girls rule, boys drool.”)
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Keep kickin’ butt and raising an appropriate amount of hell.
Your young and hip and hot and still very cool Mom