Disclaimer: This is a post specifically about people from Bachelor in Paradise, BUT I feel like everyone should read it. LOLOLOL I mean I feel like everyone should read everything I write… but anyway I feel like this is still relatable content for all. Please enjoy.
Hello. My name is Kristen. You might’ve forgotten who I was because I haven’t posted in a while. I’m so sorry for that. I’ve had a lot going on… and by that I mean I was outside enjoying summer, I started a new/amazing job, and… The Bachelorette + Bachelor in Paradise were in full force these last few months. I’ve clearly had zero time to blog. Priorities people.
Now that Fall is here and Chris Harrison is giving me a breather, I finally have time to start blogging again. Hallelujah.
Like I said, my life has been a little consumed by the Bachelor franchise recently. Between Rachel not choosing Peter, Demario + Corrine, and The Dean Issue, I’ve been a hot mess. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about when I say, “The Dean Issue,” consider yourself lucky. But also, consider yourself a little unlucky because that’s all I’m talking about today????
SO, here is the Kristen’s Reader’s Digest version of who Dean Unglert is and why I’m talking about him:
- Dean is the adorable boy-child from Rachel’s season of The Bachelorette. He was the youngest guy this season and looked like he walked right out of an Old Navy commercial. SERIOUSLY SO PRECIOUS.
- Dean made it to the Hometowns where he revealed some serious daddy issues. Every woman in America fell in love with him while he cried on the floor. He was just so vulnerable + so beautiful. AGH.
- Rachel sent him home RIGHT after he told her he loved her… and that’s when my hate for Rachel began….
- Fast forward a few months and homeboy arrives in (Bachelor In) Paradise. You already KNOW every girl was ready to swoop in. The lucky girl that got to take Dean on a date was America/Russia’s very own sweetheart, Kristina. She has her own story that is worth telling (but tbh I don’t have the energy) but basically she had an evil mother in Russia + then was adopted and brought to America. Her teacher once told her, “If you stay in Russia, your life will be in black and white … and if you go to the U.S., it will be in color.” So she’s out here, living in color, in Paradise taking Hottie McHottie Dean on date. What could go wrong?
- K. So production is shut down because of the scandal, and everyone is sent home. While home, Dean + Kristina continue to talk/see each other, and they even go on a road trip together.
- Production for Bachelor in Paradise ends up resuming, everyone heads back to Paradise, and things are going just swell for Dean and Kristina. BUT THEN, Danielle L (D.Lo) walks into Paradise in a dress showing all the goodies, and swoops Dean up. They make out on the beach and Kristina cries.
- The rest of the show continues in a weird back and forth where Dean is cuddling/making out/having DTR converstaions with both girls on the same beach 10 feet apart until Kristina finally decides that she’s had enough + decides to send herself home.
- THEN, Dean cries the next morning and tells D.Lo that he actually loved Kristina and now he’s sad… so he goes home too.
OK, now here are some of my favorite quotes from Dean from this season:
“I’m just like… figuring it all out.” – Dean’s motto for the season
“I’m in a very interesting situation right now… You know Kristina is very, very interested in our relationship, but I’m very interested and attracted to Danielle L.” – Dean explaining his “situation”
AND HERE IS THE MOMENT WHEN EVERY GIRL FELL OUT OF LOVE WITH DEAN UNGLERT:
“Kristina is just so much more like, perceptive and smart, and like, is an interesting person altogether. Uh, but D-Lo is just so f***ing hot.” (Btw I definitely screamed a very bad word when I first heard him say this.)
Okay last but not least, here is one of my fave conversations between Dean + Kristina:
“I care so much more about the way that you feel than Danielle.” -Dean
*Dean shakes his head and smiles* He then tells her how smart + attractive she is and how he is infatuated by her. Then they kiss.
THEN LIKE 5 MINUTES LATER HE TALKS TO D.LO AND FREAKING KISSES HER AND TELLS HER THAT HE IS INFATUATED BY HER.
Okay. Hopefully you’re all caught up now.
For those of you who watched Bachelor in Paradise/or read my wonderful Reader’s Digest version of the events, you KNOW how mad you were/are at Dean. But why? Every season has a terrible playboy that hurts everyone’s favorite girl. That’s literally what the show is about, “love” and drama. They wouldn’t have lasted one season if the show was about respectful dating and mature decisions. BUT WHY DOES THE DEAN VS. KRISTINA VS. D.LO SITUATION STING SO MUCH??
Because it is so real.
In the words of Taylor Swift, “ARE YOU READY FOR IT?” Let’s try to put this into some real life perspective.
Dean is the average cute-borderline-hot guy we all know. He’s got some family problems that makes any girl fantasize about hugging him while he cries and you both kiss in between drinking hot chocolate on a snowy night. He’s got the cutest smile + laugh, and everyone loves him. Seriously. Girls think he’s literally perfection and all of the guys think he’s “the man.”
Kristina is every single one of us (unless you’re a D-Lo… if so, you go girl.) She is the girl just trying to find love. She’s playing “the game” but only because she sees it as a means to find a happily ever after, not because she actually enjoys it. LITERALLY EVERYONE loves her + wants her to find love + but also none of us understand how she’s ending up in such a crappy situation??????? She deserves so much more than what she’s getting, but the smooth talking hottie Dean knows exactly what to say to keep her coming back for more.
D-Lo is the classic hot girl that ruins everything. She’s not actually a terrible person, but she’s hot and that makes us hate her. None of us are too sure if she has a personality #1 because we’ve never heard her say anything noteworthy and #2 because the only things people say about her are “she’s so hot” and… “she’s so hot.” Dean (the hot guy) took a liking to her which isn’t necessarily her fault… After watching a lot of the interviews, it seems like she didn’t really understand the whole situation when getting involved, and that Dean worded thing to make it seem like he wasn’t involved exclusively with Kristina. Dean is the real enemy here, but we still hate D.Lo. And you know what? That’s not okay… but that’s just the way that it is. Sorry D-Lo (and you if you find yourself being the D.Lo in a situation.)
You see where I’m going with this? The reason we all felt personally victimized by Dean Unglert is because we’ve all been there.
We’ve all been the girl just trying to find love with the wrong guy. If you’re in a college town (like, I don’t know… Provo for instance….) it’s a thousand times worse. There’s always going to be a D.Lo to your Dean. There will always be someone who is hotter than you or more exotic + exciting. Guess what? That freaking sucks. But that’s also life and we just gotta learn to deal.
For a long time I’ve thought to myself, “I wish I could be hotter, and then I could be the hot girl that these guys want.” But… watching this season I realized that that wasn’t the answer. No matter how amazing Kristina was… Dean wasn’t looking for love, he was looking for a hot hookup. There was nothing that Kristina could have done that would have changed that.
I can’t even begin to count the times a guy has gone with another girl over me and my first thoughts are, “maybe I’m not pretty enough/funny enough/cool enough/etc.” The fact of the matter is that not everyone is looking for the exact same things at the same time. If Kristina would’ve realized during the 3rd week that Dean was just trying to get jiggy with it + not get tied down, she would’ve saved so much heartache and time.
SO IF YOU’RE FINDING YOURSELF IN A SITUATION WHERE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE BEING STRUNG ALONG, take a step back. Do you both want different things? If so, bounce. Honey, you will not change his mind. Trust me. Also, you don’t need to beg ANYONE to care about you. If he ain’t willing to care, then don’t give him the time of day.
When Kristina left the show, she said, “‘In my next relationship I want to be valued, I want to be respected, and I want to be put first by someone who admires me for who I am and sees the value in me.”
All I have to say is YAAAAAAAS QUEEN.
Here are my final words on the subject:
MEN: If you’re reading this… hello. I’m so glad you made it to the end of this post. Here’s the deal, if you’re #1 dating multiple girls or #2 dating a girl but not too sure if you actually care about her enough to continue to date her: make a decision. Dating has become such a “why date this girl when there’s maybe something better out there” game. That’s fine, but remember, the grass is hardly greener on the other side. You can trust that. You aren’t trying to decide which kind of pre-workout to use, you’re dealing with real people with real emotions. Alternatively, please remember that women are strong as hell. Don’t try to “save” our feelings. If you know at one point that you’re not interested in progressing in a relationship, please speak up so that way we can move on. No girl has ever said, “Ugh, he’s such a jerk. He told me exactly what he was feeling and respected my emotions.” Last but not least, if you would rather have the hot girl then the smart + interesting girl, than let the smart + interesting girl know so that way she can stop wasting her time on you.
WOMEN: You are strong as hell. You don’t NEED a man to feel complete. If you feel like you’re making a guy your #1 priority + he’s not returning the favor, move on. It’s better to be alone and strong than to be the girl that EVERYONE knows is being played. Because *clap* we *clap* all *clap* know. I know that Bachelor in Paradise is severely dramatized, BUT please remember this: Dean kept telling Kristina “just be patient” and guess what… baby girl Kristina was patient… and while she was being patient, he was making out with D.Lo in the pool in front of cameras AND all of Kristina’s friends. IF HE AIN’T TRYING TO DATE/WIFE YOU, (and that’s what you want) THEN DON’T GIVE HIM YOUR 100%. You deserve the world, don’t settle for less. There are seriously so many fish in the sea, don’t waste your time on a snake.
And finally, genders/roles for everything I’ve just said can be totally reversed. Maybe you’re the best guy going after a girl that’s only trying to hook up. The same rules apply. You deserve the world, don’t settle for less.
I love you all + I’m very excited to start blogging more. I hope you are too.
Keep it sassy.