I’M ENGAGED

Hi so nothing about the title is true, but I’ve been working on my clickbait skills and I felt like that would get your attention. So, hi. Now that you’re here under false pretenses, let’s get down to business.

I’ve held off on blogging for quite awhile because I was looking for my niché. I know that I want to blog + post videos + talk everyone’s ear off, but it’s just hard when I don’t fit into a lot of the blogger categories. Ya feel? Like, I know very little about fashion (I only wear Old Navy Jumpsuits), even less about beauty + makeup (lol I only use IPSY samples), I don’t go to Disneyland enough to be a Disneyland expert blog (which is my ultimate goal btw) and I don’t live a very exciting life. I’m very… average. And so, it’s been very hard to be a #blogger when I didn’t know what type of blogger to be.

hi this is me if u forgot what I look like

Anyway, this morning I was driving to work and my phone bing’d like I got a text. I went to look, and it wasn’t a text, it was a notification from Noodles + Company. (Honestly, this wasn’t a HUGE surprise. I get more notifications from food apps than I do texts from real people. And… I’m okay with that.)

Ugh. Back to the point, I have an entire folder of apps on my phone called “Broke B****” and that’s where I keep all of my restaurant + fast-food apps. They are v important to me. Free food is v important to me.

AND IN THAT MOMENT WHEN I LOOKED AT THIS MESSAGE FROM NOODS + CO I DECIDED ON WHAT TYPE OF BLOGGER I WOULD BE.

I decided that this is what I’m going to blog about, things that are important to me. If that’s jumpsuits, IPSY samples, or food apps, SO BE IT.

And so, here it is, not the post that anyone asked for, but the post you all deserve.


3 Food Apps You Need To Download RN (and who they would be if I had to compare them to IRL boys):

  1. Noodles + Company – If Noods + Co was a boy, they would be that SUPER genuinely nice guy that is always there when you need him. He’ll text you randomly just to “check-in.” You aren’t trying to date him, and he’s not trying to date you. He’s just there to remind you that you are loved. He’s truly cares about you + your well being. K NOW FOR NOODS + CO THE APP. YOU NEED TO DOWNLOAD NOW. First things first, noodles are good. Cheese, butter, carbs, fats, sauce, etc. There is no bad, only good. ALSO, they will not only give you rewards for everytime you spend money there… THEY WILL GIVE YOU “JUST BECAUSE” REWARDS! Like I said, I was driving to work + got a notification from Noods + Co… naturally I opened it immediately and it literally said, “We miss you. Come Back. Enjoy a meal on us.” AND IT HAD A FREE MEAL COUPON. NO PURCHASES NECESSARY. They also sent me an email just to make sure I wouldn’t miss it. V helpful. Also, this is the second time that this has happened in the last 6 months. A-ma-zing. The app is not a want, it’s need. You need to download. Noodles + Company genuinely care about you. They’re the nice guy we all deserve.
  2. McDonalds– If the McDonald’s App was a boy, they would be that guy that texts you to hang out and when you reply back saying “yes when?!” he never replies back. Like, you’re still into him but also now you’re annoyed with him. (But that won’t stop you from picking up the phone the next time he calls.) Just like that boy, the McDonald’s food app is LITbut also disappointing at times. It has great deals aka almost always a free item with purchase. Like yes I came here for a $1 Diet Coke but the app says a free McChicken with any purchase? Mmhm. Ok. I’ll eat it. BUT, don’t get too excited because it will let you down when you need it. The app tends to crash right when you need it (it will say “No Deals Available At This Time” but I’m sorry Ronald McDonal would never approve of that????) and lately a lot of the deals only work on mobile ordering (which I refuse to do because that would be an entire new low for me….) But, still a good download. I still pick up when they call even when they let me down.
  3. Cafe Rio. Cafe Rio. Cafe Rio. If Cafe Rio was a boy, they would be the cool fun guy that will always invite you to fun things. “Hey there’s a concert this weekend.” “Hey my friends and I are going to this bonfire” “hey I have a boat” Like, they aren’t trying to get into your pants, they just want to have fun and be your friend. That’s Cafe Rio. They are ALWAYS inviting me in with good deals. You need to download the app for the sole purpose of the cheering the app does whenever you scan points. ALSO IT IS ALMOST ALWAYS TRIPLE POINTS. So it’s v easy to get points aka to get free food. Cafe Rio isn’t trying to get into your belly, they just want to have fun and be your friend. And I’m into that.

Anyway, this is my new brand: me posting about whatever is important to me (food) and the weird thoughts I have about it (food is like boys.) Love y’all and I hope you download all of these apps and invite me to go eat at these places with you.

xoxo

Kristen

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24

Thursday is my birthday + that means that this girl is turning the big 2-4. It’s funny because I have a ton of friends who are older than me, so I still feel like a baby, but then I have a handful of friends who are younger than me, so I’m feelin’ OLD. Either way, I’m excited to be turning 24.

24. Twenty-four. 2. 4. I feel like 24 is a good round, even number. It screams adult. Like when I was 18/19, I was an “adult” but not really. Then when I was 20, I was just wishing I was 21 + then when I turned 21, I realized that I still couldn’t do anything. 22 was the year I listened to “22” by Taylor Swift 22 too many times, then I turned 23 + no one likes you when you’re 23.

BUT NOW, now I’m (turning) 24. There’s nothing to be said about 24 year olds, it’s a blank canvas. I can make 24 whatever I want it to be. I mean, I’ll probably just lay in my bed a lot this year, but still. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.

I’ve decided to make a list of things that I have learned throughout the years. It’s almost like a testimony of my life. I think this list will be good for me. It’s helping me reflect on the lessons I’ve learned + help me prepare for this next year. Possibly.


24 Things I’ve Learned in the Last 24 Years

  1. I still don’t know what “fashion” means, BUT I do know that you can pull anything off that you ~tell yourself~ you can pull off. YOU CAN TOTALLY WEAR JUMPSUITS. YOU CAN TOTALLY WEAR WHITE. YOU CAN TOTALLY WEAR STUFF FROM WALMART.
  2. You have to pay for speeding/traffic tickets or else they will issue out a warrant + you CAN get arrested.
  3. It’s okay to have separate groups of friends, you don’t have to do everything in ONE big group all the time. Some friends might not vibe with other friends and that’s okay. Don’t force people to hang out with people they don’t want to hang out with.
  4. Self-deprecating humor IS funny, but it is also sad. You’ll get the laughs, but also get the, “aww’s….” You don’t want the “aww’s…”
  5. Horoscopes may or may not be real. But, if they aren’t real… whoever is writing them sure knows a lot about me and my future. SpoOkY.
  6. Sometimes you HAVE to cry it out. Be strong, but also be strong enough to cry. It’ll be okay + it’ll be a little better after you cry it out. Trusttttt.
  7. Dating/boys don’t get better the older you get, it/they just get older (which isn’t always a good thing but also not a bad thing??)
  8. You don’t “want” Netfix and Hulu, you “NEED” Netflix and Hulu.
  9. Planners are cool. They’re even cooler when you use them. (Also, splurge on a NICE planner + you’ll be more likely to use it, I get mine from Ban.do.)
  10. The Bachelor might not be “real” but it sure is entertaining. Don’t let anyone shame you from watching good quality trash TV. Live, laugh, love trash TV.
  11. If you want something that is stupid expensive for no good reason, don’t just buy the cheaper knock-off. Just save to get the boujee thing, because you’ll never be ~truly~ happy with the knock-off. (This is directed @ my Hydroflask and all the poor water bottles I’ve bought until I finally got the Hydroflask.) It’s okay to want nice/boujee things.
  12. Beanies don’t look good on everyone and that’s OKAY.
  13. It’s better to know that a love interest doesn’t love you back then to live out a hypothetical romance in your head because you don’t know if he likes you or not.
  14. Church sucks if you’re only going to meet a future boo thang. Apparently “going for the right reasons” is a real thing.
  15. There is nothing wrong for wanting to be liked by everyone.
  16. Life is crazy, but it’s 10X crazier when Mercury is in retrograde (refer back to #5, I don’t know if it’s real but it sure feels like it.)
  17. There is NOTHING wrong with eating Chik-Fil-A multiple times a week.
  18. Rihanna is better than Beyonce.
  19. Life is all about the choices we make + every choice we make will have a consequence.
  20. School is important but so is my sanity.
  21. Old Navy errythang. If you shop at Old Navy, you know what this means.
  22. It’s OKAY to be sad about not dating anyone. I think sometimes whenever a girl says she’s sad that she’s single we try to convince her that she’s a strong woman that don’t need no one but herself, but I think it’s also okay to long for a companion? Idk. I just think it’s okay to not want to be single.
  23. In reference to #22, you can’t let your dating life, or lack thereof, TAKE OVER your normal day-to-day life. It’s okay to be sad or angry for a minute, but don’t let it take away from all of the other amazing things that life has to offer.
  24. Know your worth. Once you start believing you’re worth more, you’ll start acting like you’re worth more, and others will treat you like you’re worth more.

Well, that’s it. That’s all I’ve learned. Let’s see what this next year brings.

xoxo

Kristen

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November Faves

Hi. I know what you’re thinking… Kristen is selling out/trying to become a big blogger and is doing sponsored posts of her favorite things.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I am nowhere NEAR popular enough to do sponsored posts. The closest I’ve ever gotten to a sponsored post was last summer when The Classic Skate Center in Orem gave me a free skating pass for posting on IG about skating. #ad

Anyway, I’ve recently went back + read all of my old posts, including posts on my old “Provo Diaries” blog. I actually laughed out loud at most of them. It was so fun reading them because I remembered what I was feeling at that exact moment when I wrote it. So… I’ve decided to post once a week things about my life: dating (or the lack therof,) my favorite things at the time, churchy stuff, etc. Why? Because I feel like it will be HILARIOUS for me in a few years or in a few months. Hopefully everything is still relatable to y’all. But also if it’s not… oops.


OK. So here are my favorite things RIGHT NOW:

1. Chik-Fil-A Chik-n-Minis. That’s my number one. HAHAHA I’m honestly a joke. If you haven’t tried them, TRY THEM. They are just the regular chicken nuggets in a little dough-y roll covered in some sort of buttery honey glaze sent from Heaven (seriously though I know without a doubt that Chik-Fil-A is the Lord’s food.) They stop serving breakfast at exactly 10:30 on the freaking dot… trust me, they won’t serve you breakfast after 10:30. Make sure you’re prompt, it will be worth it I promise.

2. My job. I work for Kortni Jeane Swimmers and it’s amazing. The swimsuits are the only swimmers I ever wear + I’ve met so many amazing people while working here. Here’s a few photos of me on the job:

3. RESTAURANT APPS. I am a firm believer in the power + blessings that come from downloading all of the restaurants’ apps. I have an entire folder of them on my phone. Noodles & Company, McDonald’s, Chik-Fil-A… the list goes on and on. Seriously, you get either FREE food or discounted things. And I’m 23 so most of my food comes from a place with an app, so might as well use it right?

4. This is my one boujee thing… I accidentally completely destroyed my old phone, so I got the iPhone 8+ and I am obsesssssed. First things first, my old phone was 16GB. It was basically just a fancy calculator. My new phone is 64GB, it’s HUGE, and I can do literally anything from it. Like, I’m writing this entire blog from my phone. ALSO, I can take fancy pictures and by that I mean mainly just taking selfies in a mirror. Here’s 3 from the last week: 5. The song, “Good As Hell” by Lizzo. Here’s the first verse for all my laaaadies:

“Come now, come dry your eyes

You know you a star, you can touch the sky

I know that it’s hard but you have to try

If you need advice, let me simplify

If he don’t love you anymore

Just walk your fine a** out the door

I do my hair toss

Check my nails

Baby how you feelin’?

Feeling good as hell”

My friend showed this song to me + it was EXACTLY what I needed. I HAVEN’T GONE A DAY WITHOUT PLAYING IT AT LEAST 3 TIMES. It is so catchy. And she’s a QUEEN. It’s my new anthem. It should be yours too. Listen to it. Promise? K. Thanks. Also, sorry mom + dad if you’re reading this/listening to the song because it says the “A” word. 

Okay. There’s all of my favorite things right now. Chances are they will be the same next month, but who knows. YOLO.

***Also, Chik-Fil-A if you’re reading this, I’m willing to sell out and be sponsored by you. DM or email me or contact me through your app.

xoxo

Kristen

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Your Milkshake Brings Girls to the Yard: My Thoughts on Modesty

Dear Men,

We love you. Let’s just start out by saying how much I personally love men…  SO MUCH. Which is why I find myself writing this. This isn’t for me, this isn’t for us women, this is for you.

Summer is just around the corner. We can smell it now: the BBQ, the sunscreen, the chlorine. It’s a beautiful thing.

On the other hand, summer is also full of a lot scary things: sunburns, mosquito, your bodies.

What? Men’s bodies? How? What? WHY? Well… Us women? We are very hormonal. We absolutely cannot control our very natural tendencies. Let me explain.


PictureLook at me. No control.

Women are naturally very attracted to the male body. It’s so hard for us to control our urges. Be a pal, cover up. Obviously we wish we could control ourselves, but we can’t. It’s just how we were made. SO, it’s up to YOU to make sure we don’t start fornicating all over the place. Wear a t-shirt when you play volleyball, don’t wear compression leggings to the gym, and DON’T wear cut-off t-shirts. Ever. It’s your responsibility to help us with our wholesome motherly duties. Is it a lot to ask? Maybe. But it is your responsibility, so cover it up boo bear.

PictureLook at me, it’s like a crazed animal.

Please do not post photos of your cleavage or side boob (pretty much all gym photos.) It’s very hard to respect (if at all.) I’m not saying that you need to earn our respect… but you do. Really, we see you as an object until proven other wise.

Sure, we’ll like your photos, we’ll comment heart eyes or the fire emoji, we’ll even slide into your DM’s.

BUT, don’t get it twisted, we will not take you seriously. We will not see you as a human being. A real woman isn’t attracted to a “hot” man.


Be the man you want your son to look up to. Do you want your son’s 72 hour kit to consist of C4 and protein powder? NO! Do you want to be the father that teaches his son to be comfortable in his own (covered up) skin? Then start acting like it. When the sun is out, the guns don’t have to be out. You don’t have to be a member of the swole patrol. Stand up! Be different! Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. It’s okay to leave the sleeves on your shirts. It’ll be hard, but you’ll be so much better because of it. Trust me. You are a strong, independent man that don’t need no acceptance from the female population.

Basically, we love you. We love you so much that we want you to be the best person that you can be, and that means covering up. No shoulders, no side-boob, and no, NO thigh high shorts. Just remember, it might seem like we’re only asking this of you because we can’t control ourselves… but, this is really for you. Trust us.

Love,

Your Victims (The Women Population)


Feels weird right? You know, me, asking men to cover up. Yeah, I know. Trust me, it’s weird reading all of the “What I want girls to know…” letters my guy friends post on Facebook.

(Disclaimer: My intention isn’t to get all “let’s burn our bras” on all of you, but it’s to share a little bit of my own thoughts on the matter.)

First of all, isn’t there an Article of Faith stating something about men being punished for their own sins? (Rhetorical question. There is. Duh. Click here to check out all 13 while you’re at it.) We are all responsible for ourselves and our own actions. SO this whole, “your modesty directly influences me” thing can only go so far.

Second, I love this Gospel because we teach that we are to love one another and to be accepting and to be awesome. Our whole purpose is to bring people to Christ! I love that.

We aren’t volunteer sheriffs, in charge of taking down our friends and family for the good of the community. We are a beacon of light to others, an example to the nations.

What does that mean for us here and now? Well… This means that we need to start looking within, and we need to start pondering on what OUR purpose is.

Why are we doing the things that we are doing? Why are you dressing modestly? Why aren’t you dressing modestly? Why are you cyber stalking your ex-boyfriend? Why are you binge watching Friends for the 3rd time in the past year? Why do you go to church every Sunday? Why on Earth are you in favor of Donald Trump? Once you figure out the answers to these questions (and many more,) reflect on what that means to you. Think about your purpose.

If you’re okay with the insight you discovered about yourself, then keep on keepin’ on! You got it, lock and load, you’re golden. If you don’t feel so good about what you’ve come to realize about yourself, fix it. It’s Y O U R life. You can do whatever you dang well please.

But, do you want to know what you shouldn’t do? You shouldn’t take that special opportunity (you know, the beautiful opportunity of you discovering your purpose and love for yourself and for your Heavenly Father) away from others. You shouldn’t try to shame others into feeling the way you do. It’s okay to be an example, to live your life in the oh so perfect way that you currently do, but you shouldn’t bring others down.

PictureSide note: Be careful of what you’re preaching. The whole, don’t judge thing comes to mind. No one is perfect. I know that I sure as heck am not. You don’t see me posting on social media about how people shouldn’t eat an entire tub of nutella in one sitting. Why? Because someone will call me out (because I have a history with Nutella,) and I lose all credibility. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll try to post a sassy Facebook status telling girls that you won’t respect them if their photos are scandalous, and then a girl you tried to “hit up” calls you out. C’mon, guys/girls, no one likes a hypocrite. LAWL

I love my Heavenly Father, oh so much. I respect my body and my virtue because I love and respect the Creator of all of these beautiful things. I am not modest in my language, dress, and actions because a male friend posted on Facebook that he only respects classy girls. I could really give a rats behind what those Facebook preachers preach. I am who I am because of my own testimony and love for my Father in Heaven.

Why do you do the things that you do?

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